Hate

Standard

It’s a strong word.

As is modern convention, we are absolutely in love with hyperbole. Louis CK does a great bit about his disdain for people using words improperly. “Awesome”, “epic”, “legendary”, beast”, are all great examples of this. Hate is the best though. I suppose it comes from the fact that it is some much easier to exclaim: “I HATE ______ so much!” as oppose to “You know, I have a great dislike for _________, it/they really irritate me!”. I am as guilty as anyone for using this to proclaim my animosity with something. There are truly things though that I hate. Things that when I see, hear, or feel, I fly into a fit of rage (usually but not limited to internal rage).

Here are some examples of things/ideas/occurrences/people I HATE:

Helvetica: A thousand blasphemous curses on this awful awful font (yes, Kristi-Lea, if you’re reading this, the word “font” was deliberately used to irritate you).
I went to design school. I understand how technically sound this typeface is. I understand why it’s so easy to use. I understand the modern obsession with it. We’ve become a voiceless society. Mass trumps individuality. Helvetica is the perfect example of this. It’s stale, it’s corporate, it tells you want to think. It is voiceless. There are plenty other sans-serifs out there that are just as legible, but give a communication design a flavour. Gotham, Futura, Gill Sans. Helvetica can burn. Boy do I ever regret buying a Mac…

The use word “Epic”: Can this just die?
“Epic” has been the buzzword of what feels like the last 5 years. It may in fact be longer. All I know is, unless your name is Homer, and you’re recounting tales of Ancient Greek lore, I can assure you that nothing you are talking about, have done, or ever WILL do are/were/will be “epic”. I can however tell you beyond all reasonable doubt that whenever you use it, I am wishing a thousand tiny daggers would pierce your cerebral cortex.

Escalator etiquette in Vancouver: If you’ve ever even just travelled here, you’ll get it.
Between people taking up the entire pathway with their obnoxious travel bags, standing dead-centre on the steps, or standing two to a step, my blood boils. I now it’s something I should probably just “breathe and count to ten” about. I could probably extend this one to bus, sidewalk, and just general Vancouverian etiquette, because it’s just non-existent. There’s something about the escalator that makes me fume more than the others though. If you want to casually ride the escalator up, that’s fine, just pull yourself to one side and allow people to pass by. The steps aren’t always an option since Vancouver is full of situations where there is either an up or down escalator, and the steps are inundated with people flooding the opposite direction of the escalator.

People who chew loudly: *SHUDDER*
This extends to people who make unnecessary noises while they eat. Lip-smacking, open-mouthed chewing, slurping (OH GOD SLURPING). I just want to lock you in a cage and throw away the key.

Monchichi: Seriously.
This definitely is irrational. If I see that furry little bastard though…I need to leave. Just, no. There will be zero tolerance for Monchichi or his brethren.

There are a few other things, but that’ll be for another day. Sunday rants are nice.

DFP

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