Already Weird


Portland likes to tout the motto:

Keep it weird.

Vancouver seems to have just been born that way.

On my way into work today, I ran into a more eclectic than usual group of people. None of them were related by any noticeable traits. Seems like it was just a Friday where people decided to stand out. The morning started out rather unscrupulously; just the standard little old woman. who refused to get off the bus until there was a path 4 people wide for her to move. Then I got to the train station.

There was the man wearing the most bizarre dress shoes I have seen. Think Columbia Cartel boots. Long toes that curl all the way up. In the boot trade, we call them “nosepickers”. Not a common thing to see on the streets of Vancouver, but nothing shocking. EXCEPT, that they were square toed. Usually these boots finish in a fine point capable of picking a lock (or a nose). These had a chiseled off toe however. Much like a regular office shoe.

There was the young blonde girl running down the stairs. Her gait was unreal. I kept waiting for her to fall flat on her butt. Instead of carefully assessing each step with the balls of her feet like most people, she was Russian dancing her way down. Each step thudding in a sickening squelch with the heel of her Hunter wellies.

This was quickly followed by what could only be a coincidence. A man and a woman, who seemingly had no connection, were wearing two different items of clothing, that matched EXACTLY in colour and tone. The man was wearing a V-necked sweater, the lady a winter coat. Both were what I can only describe as “Tang” coloured. Why would they choose to stand next to each other? There was plenty of room on the train.

Of course, no jaunt into work would be complete with the prerequisite Gastown story. I work in one of the more colourful areas of Vancouver. Today, there was a man riding his bike, no hands, screaming at the top of his lungs: “The tyrants will fall and we will bathe in their ashes!”

Portland, you may need to remind your residents to “Stay Weird”…

Vancouver needs no such publicity campaign.



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