Fresh

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I’m sleeping on clean sheets tonight.

That is, if I manage to find sleep.

I haven’t blogged in a considerable amount of time. There are varying reasons, lack of topics being at the forefront. I had this vision of what I wanted to do with this blog when I started it. Simply, that there would be no vision, no structure, no purpose other than being an outlet to write. Posting would come when the mood struck. I felt at first that it was going well. Then it would tail off. I’d come back to the blogosphere, only to recently dive completely off the radar. I’ve been more forward and open emotionally than not, though I’ve managed to sneak the odd aloof post in. The problem is, I’m a critical thinker.

Critical in the sense that, I’m critical of the things I think about. Critical of the things I think I want to post about. There have been all kinds of things running through my brain, yet none of them seem to want to come out.

My heart’s been empty.
Sinking deep into despair, disbelief, impossibly lost and sad.

My heart’s been full.
Right to the brim. With love, happiness, laughter, delirious in the joy of that those around me have a knack of causing.

Because of those highs and lows, I’ve stayed away from the keyboard. Perhaps worried that I was too emotionally charged, or drained, to share anything…significant or otherwise. The spark to talk to the online world is back. For how long I don’t know.

Clean sheets, clean slate.

I can’t make any promises.

-DFP-

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2 thoughts on “Fresh

  1. I mostly came here to see if there was anyone else out there like me, feeling either drained, depressed, or just trying to find a sense of direction.
    If anything, it’s inspiring to see someone who can be so open and honest about their emotions.

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