Yesterday I slept for 14 hours. My monthly “crash” if you will. I used to track my sleep using an app on my phone. I realized pretty quick that it was less a helpful tool, than it was a symbol of how bad my insomnia has grown over the years.
In high school, I wager I got about 6-8 hours of sleep every night
In my binge drinking days, closer to 5-7.
If you believe the last app readings, which were back in November: 4.5 hours/night.
Of course, the app isn’t wholly accurate. It only starts calculating from when you start the timer. It doesn’t factor in how long it takes you to doze off after activating it. It also doesn’t account for waking up frequently throughout the night. Let’s not forget, this is also an average measurement. As previously stated, I usually have a crash once or twice a month, where I binge sleep. My body just can’t handle the fatigue anymore. You could probably safely assume I indeed only sleep on average 3-3.5 hours every night.
My mind doesn’t have an off switch. It’s not that I lead an overly exciting life; the thoughts buzzing are certainly not screenplay worthy. Frets and worries of a near 30 year old are pretty bland, truthfully. I have school registration in roughly 12 hours to contend with, currently. I also have a ticket to a concert tonight that I’m pretty jazzed about. It’ll be the first concert I’ve gone to alone in, pretty well ever. Earlier in the evening, I was challenged to list 5 “Nice Things”. My brain doesn’t typically lean towards positive things, particularly lately. Since I can’t seem to find sleep though, let’s give it a whirl. Who knows? It may just clear some clutter…
- West coast rain on my face. Especially in the morning when it’s still cold and I’m barely awake.
- The fact that as the years go by, my handwriting is slowly looking more and more like my Gramma’s everyday.
- The hum of a tattoo gun; the bite it delivers into the skin.
- Beers that wash over your entire palette.
- The unmistakeable sound of a home run.
- The perfect snap a baseball mitt makes on a beautifully thrown 2-seam fastball.
- A book so good, you have to re-read it immediately since you can’t leave the characters behind…because they are not characters, they’re friends.
- Sour-cherry cheesecake.
- A seamlessly conceived playlist.
- Rhubarb rock candy.
- The first cookie from a freshly baked batch.
- The first autumn wind.
- Cherry cola.
- The fizz that tickles your nose, from a freshly poured soda-fountain drink.
- The cold-side of the pillow.
- Coming home from camp and not being able to wash the campfire smell off your skin.
- Not being able to sleep the day before a big trip, while still being able to get up early to get your butt to where you need to go.
- Being the first to toe the rubber on a freshly groomed baseball diamond
- Ocean spray, on a summer day at the beach.
(…so I got a little carried away)